Notions, preconceptions and limitations.
Yet again, Ray and I found ourselves in the throes of what we love: a buying trip. As we head to parts unknown to participate in what had to be the single largest guitar acquisition offered for sale since the Shinnecock Indians gave their 800- acre peninsula reservation in exchange for the 3,000- acre tract wanted for the railroad line. Dealers from far and wide attended and the "who's who" of the guitar world were there to stake a claim. If you have never attended an auction, let me break this down for you. Day one is normally the time when two things happen: 1.Potential buyers get to inspect the items they may wish to purchase and 2. Posturing. This is where you poke your chest out and let the other bulls know you're a bull too, so with 350 quality instruments at stake, the term "the quick or the dead" immediately comes to mind. Eager and ready, Ray and I were the first to show up on inspection day. The keys to success comes in three parts. Be on time, have clarity and resolve and for Pete's sake, be fearless. The guitars that were being offered were worthy of the 10+ hour drive and after we finished our inspections, (not hard, because the guitars were in new condition) we got back to the war room to plan the greatest massacre since Little Big Horn. As you can plainly see, the name of this article is Notions, Preconceptions and Limitations:
Notions: The Webster's dictionary has the meaning for Notions as "a mental image or representation; an idea or conception". Yes friends, we had a mental image and a conception, which was to rule the world that day. To not only acquire all of the coolest things for our valuable clientele, but to do it with style and purpose.
Preconceptions: "Pre" is the key to the meaning of this word. You see, with a single thought of sheer world domination, we forgot an age old lesson,
"Perception is strong and sight weak. In strategy, it is important to see distant things as if they were close and to take a distanced view of close things."
Limitations When I hear this word, it brings to mind Dirty Harry. You guys remember that now famous line in the first Dirty Harry movie, right? "A man's gotta know his limitations." Well, Ray and I knew our limitations, or might I add the Bank's letter of intent. As we bid on these lovely beauties, we were feeling good about ourselves until a man that blotted out the sun broke the silence.
Man that blotted out the sun: "Excuse me, may I have a word with you?" Me: Okay, I'll be right there, don't you see I'm in the middle of world domination and thangs?
Man that blotted out the sun: " Do you realize that you to chuckleheads are at your limit and we want to know if you can cover your debts?"
Me: What? Really? Wow... (modern buzz words, you know).
MWBOTS: "Well, because if you don't, let me introduce you to Knuckles. He has a way with words".
Me: "I so got you, don't even worry about this".
You see folks, what he (Mr. Blotted) doesn't realize is that Ray and I are true Sons of the South and what is it that Southerners always carry around with them (other than a Tom Wopat and John Schneider autographed 8x10 glossy)? Well, I'll tell you- it's 50 thousands dollars worth of Confederate bearer bonds.
After we got that straightened out, we proceeded to do what we do best without interruptions and I have to say after the smoke had cleared, Ray and I walked out of that place like Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday leaving the shootout at the O.K. Corral. If you know your history, then you know that Doc Holiday was wounded and Ray, as you know played that roll on this day and took a couple of slugs for the team. Nothing serious, mind you- just a flesh wound and and a shot in the left ear. We have been doing this for quite some time and I have to say that the experience was just like walking the dusty streets in front of a saloon. As the tumbleweeds blew across the desolate street, steely eyes watched our every move. In the immortal words of Ratt.
"You're hot leather, you're cold steel
You make a move, I'll make you feel like a
Human target, in my eyes
I've got you, well, in my sights, by the noose you will hang,
It's your neck, from this Ratt gang"....