The Most Interesting Man in the World....
Photo 1. What's a man to do that has done everything? I suppose you could go and see the Seven Wonders of the World or perhaps the humanitarian in you could save starving children the world over. Or, if you are so inclined and have the intellect of Einstein,
you could split the atom to stop a surging war or be civic- minded and invent Penicillin. Friends, 'Ole Hank has done all of the above and yet like Alexander the Great, wept because there were no more worlds left to conquer. Inspired by the portrait in the opening photo, 'Ole Hank has now dedicated his life to the arts. This grandiose portrait of 'Ole Hank, entitled "I'm Too Blue to be Red" was commissioned by the then French President Charles De Gaulle to hang in the Louvre and set the entire art world abuzz with anticipation. Who would be the artist chosen to capture the true essence of this worldly man? At the time, the selection process caused an international controversy not seen since that unfortunate event on Dec 7, 1941. As you may recall, 'Ole Hank flipped a coin to decide between Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso as the artist. Salvador won and the rest is history. Dejected and downtrodden, Picasso scoffed and consoled himself with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. It is well documented that Picasso never could let this great loss go and carried it with him to his demise, prompting the utterance of his last words, "Drink to me, Drink to my health, You know I can't drink anymore". To read between the lines, Ladies and Gentlemen, the coin flip broke Picasso's heart.
Photo 2. This is the actual car presented to Ole' Hank by President Franklin D. Roosevelt for his valour at sea during the Battle of Midway. Rumor has it that 'Ole Hank and FDR (as Hank referred to him) entertained a couple of starlets in this very vehicle while 'Ole Hank was home on leave in the summer of '44. The two MGM starlets where Vera Miles and Esther Williams, you didn't hear it from me.
Photo 3. The mere rumor that 'Ole Hank would be making a public appearance incited a riot. In this photo, you'll see that a crowd gathered in honor of Memphis' favorite son. The Memphis police were called out to direct traffic and vendors hastily set up their 'Ole Hank memorabilia to sell to the anxious crowd. Women showed up by the droves to entice 'Ole Hank with their
womanly attributes and grown men openly wept at the mere thought
of catching a glimpse of this storied war veteran. Coincidentally, The last time 'Ole Hank made an appearance was Nov 17,1954.
Elvis had to cancel his appearance at the Eagles Nest for a lack of attendance and oddly enough nine months later a record amount of babies where delivered at John Gaston hospital. The census reported there where 21,187 males born with the sir name of Hank that year, what a tribute. Photo 4. As 'Ole Hank strolled in like a conquering conquistador, overly excited men started throwing each other around in honor of the living legend. If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed my own eyes.
Photo 5. In honor of 'Ole Hank's visit, the city of Memphis flew in the world- renowned Highland Bagpipes of Ireland. The crowed was delighted with their rendition of "The Fossy Dew" and as a surprise to all, The Highlanders dedicated "Danny Boy" to 'Ole Hanks fallen comrades on the S.S. Lion Fish. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.
Photo 6. This portrait, entitled "I Too, Knew the Emperor" was painted by Salvador Dali and was meant to reflect the intensity in the subject's eyes. That demeaning scowl was embedded into Dali's mind right after the infamous coin flip between himself and Picasso. Surprisingly, the subject is none other than Pablo Picasso and friends, he still looks mad to this day....
And you though the most interesting man in the world was that phony in the beer commercial.. Not hardly..