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Greg Owens
 
Greg Owens
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Item Purchased: Wildwood Stratocaster and Murphy Les Paul GT

Here is the newest member of our family and winner of the "longest drive to visit the Elkcave" contest, Mr. Greg Owens. He came out to check out some of the gear we have and visit with us for a while and as we chatted, the topic soon turned to what people do for a living. We asked Greg what he did and he replied, "Whenever someone in Washington wants to see what's going on inside an Afghan training camp or monitor the activity in a Russian shipyard, I'm the guy that programs the coordinates into the spy satellite and sets up the reception of the high- density photographs". In a pig's eye, I thought, but we listened on and after a few minutes, the idea came to me that we could recruit this guy into the E.B.I. ('Elk Bureau of Investigation). "Can you really do all that fancy- smancy stuff you just said" I asked. He looked at me and said without cracking a smile, "Got a laptop"? I ran up and retrieved my daughter's laptop (with the Hanna Montana stickers on it) and returned to the office. Greg was waiting with a small black box with four antennas sticking out of the top and a yellow and black cord wrapped around the bottom. He plugged this contraption into my daughter's laptop (with the Hanna Montana stickers on it) and said, "What do you boys want to see"? Not wanting to get into any trouble, I said, "Tell me what my neighbors are doing". Greg began typing furiously and soon he looked at me and said, "The lady around the corner is sunbathing in her backyard. She's just beginning to show the first signs of sunburn and I'd say some SPF-60 would be of great help about now". Lee and I just looked at each other, stunned. Greg went on. "The kids up the street are poking a stick into a hole by a shed and are about to wake up a 4- foot king snake with yellow stripes. Wait- there he is now and he doesn't look very happy". We were flabbergasted by this time and didn't know what to say. Greg then said, "Oh you'll love this one- a guy down the street is sitting in a pink plastic baby pool with a rusty can of PBR. It looks like he's crying, talking to a Chihuahua and unless my eyes are deceiving me, that dog's talking back to him". We had had quite enough by now and afraid that we would get thrown into a Federal dungeon for the rest of our lives, reached out and closed the laptop. We packed up the two guitars, said our goodbyes and before he left, asked Greg for one small favor, which he readily granted; Come Christmastime, when Santa wants to know who's been naughty or nice, he'll be calling us to find out the skinny. And for anybody else that wants to know who's zoomin' who, you can call 1-900-ELK-TELL and we'll dish out the dirt to you. The first minute is $4.95 and every minute afterwards is only $1.95. Mastercard, Visa and Amex are accepted…..Thanks, Greg for the visit and as always, welcome to our herd!