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Carl 'The Bear' Smith
 
Carl 'The Bear' Smith
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Item Purchased: 50th Anniversary Stratocaster

Fellow 'Elks, Carl "The Bear" Smith has returned and his secret is out- the truth is, he's a closet Rebel and Son of the South even though he lives in Pennsylvania. We got a call from Vince McMahon a couple of weeks ago and he said that, after seeing Carl's photo here in the 'Elk Nation, he thought Carl would be a good "fall guy" for Triple H in the upcoming Ring of Death match. Because I got the call, I sort of felt like I was now Carl's manager and I told Vince that "The Bear" doesn't wrestle for "fall guy" money and that even if I could convince him to wrestle Triple H, a man's behind just might get whupped. To my surprise, Vince said to me in a tone that can only come from a man that's very used to getting his way, "Don't make me call down there again. You have this Carl fellow at Madison Square Gardens on May 5th, or I'll have Bautista tie that tall partner of yours into a Christmas bow". Shaken, but not stirred, I told Vince, "Alright Sparky, I'll have him there. But, I'm going to send the latest photo of Carl to you so you can see that the only thing you're putting together on the 5th of May is your top star when "The Bear" tears his arm off and beats him with it". So, true to my word, I sent this photo of our very own 'Elk, Mr Carl Smith to Vince's office. Two day's later, a woman left a message on my phone: "Hello, this is Mr. McMahon's assistant. After viewing the photo you recently submitted to our offices, our organization has decided that it would be better if your client didn't wrestle in New York on the 5th. It seems that, ahem, Mr. Smith's opponent saw his picture and thought better of having a couple of ring posts placed where they might not anatomically fit. You'll not be hearing from us again and as a gesture of our gratitude, we're sending you and Mr. Smith on a two week vacation in Honolulu. Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter". So there you have it, 'Elks- Carl and his wife will be going to Hawaii for a couple of weeks and I cashed in my tickets for a long weekend in Tunica, Mississippi. It's a cheapskate's paradise and the only place that has penny poker machines. To "The Bear", we once again say "Thank You" and if the WWE ever does call again, we might just take up the match they offer. After all, they said you could go by the name, "Rebel Yell"....