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Jeff 'The Gatorman' Waligora
Jeff 'The Gatorman' Waligora
Item Purchased: 1958 Les Paul Junior

Gator called up at 3:00 in the morning. "Ya'll got my guitar down there and I want it", he growled. I groggily tried to get my thoughts together as I had tied a real good one on just hours earlier. "Gator, is that you?" I croaked. "What the heck are you doing calling me at 3:00 in the danged morning?" Gator merely replied, "You boys got my Junior on your website and I want it put in a box and mailed up to me- pronto." I rolled my eyes in disbelief that I was even alive at this ungodly hour, much less yappin' about a guitar. I yelled, "Gator, I must not be the only one drinkin'. Why don't you do the human thing and give me a call during what most sane people would consider normal working hours?" Shouldn't have done that. Gator growled, "If you rednecks think I'm playing around, reach over with your right hand and tell me what you find." Now I was seriously mad and flopped my right hand over on the bed. What should have been a curvacious blonde German girl felt like a large pine tree trunk. And, it was moving and hissing. I screamed like a 16 year old virgin at a biker rally and jumped straight up, catching the light fixture with my now roughed- up right arm. Lying in the bed next to me was a 7 foot Nile crocodile with a note taped to it's back that read: "I want my geetar and I ain't a playin'" I put the phone back to my ear and whispered, "Gatorman, am I hallucinating or is that a danged alligator in my FREAKIN' BEDROOM?" Gator whispered, "That, my now wearing soiled pajamas friend is my step brother Elroy. He's there to make sure you get my Junior packed up and sent out in a somewhat timely fashion. Your wife is out back, duct- taped and upside down in your garbage can. I suggest you get ta packin'." The guitar was on it's way to Oregon the next morning and folks, when the Gatorman says jump, we don't ask how high, we just put on a Van Halen record and do what he says...Hey Gator- nice shirt!