"Plastic on the floor."
Let me explain please. Do you remember that scene in "Goodfellows?" Tommy DeVito, aka Joe Pesci was apparently gonna be "made." He, Tommy walks into the garage only to look down at what? Plastic on the floor. We all know that can't be good, right? Next thing we all know, De Niro's character, James Conway went all Ray Rice on a phone booth while saying, "No, No, No." On the "why I take you to that particular scene in the movie" is because of the trade agreement. Don't play dumb on me now. Do you know how many times I've heard the "I'll check with the wife" routine? I understand the trade agreement and I'd like to think I have a masters degree in the field of negotiations. That agreement took place when your thoughts were preoccupied with, shall I say "other pressing matters." Dude, I understand on the why, the what, the how and the methods employed. A sweet voice, long legs and a little something from Victoria's Secret go a long way. With that being said, lest you forget, you have power too.
Negotiation rule #1. Control the time: Yes friends, when this guitar is on the delivery truck and you know it, wouldn't it be strategic to mention a sale at Nordstroms? Deceptive, you may think, but I say the much needed time could be utilized by stashing said piece.
Negotiation rule #2. Bartering: That's what they do with us, remember? That, down South is called trading chickens for pies. She's got something you want and she trades for something you've got. In this case, see rule #1- send her to Nordstroms. She'll come back with a bag from a french designer whose name you cannot enunciate. You'll act surprisingly attentive when she explains said purse and then, while she's in that euphoric state would be the time to introduce said guitar purchase. As "Wind In His Hair" said in "Dances With Wolves," "Good trade."
Negotiation rule #3. This technique comes at great risk, so you've been warned. In said scenario, you would create an atmosphere of competition. Next time you're eating with her at Longhorns, get the waitresses attention, (the P.Y.T. or pretty young thang that brings you a Bloomin' Onion,) wink at her or maybe pinch her on the behind. She (the waitress,) will surely appreciate this gesture of affection and so will "she" (and you know the "she" I speak of.) This third technique is only for the most advanced negotiator. Proceed with extreme caution. Now, I have spoken with you about this as a gentleman and have explained the rules of engagement. As for the guitar? Who out there doesn't want to own a cherry red EDS-1275? Rock legends are made of this- just ask Jimmy. Albeit, this guitar has a few minor dings on her (probably came from first owner's other half after Negotiation technique #3 was employed,) but unlike that guy, this guitar is a survivor and yes, the guitar does have the ""Eye of the Tiger."" Friends, we are only here to help, to provide knowledge and to keep your heels off plastic. Funny how? What, am I here to amuse you? "