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1966 .Teisco Spectrum 5

Spectrum 5
Case:
OHSC
Color:
Red
Condition:
Excellent
Price:
$3,995.00
Description:
As often happens around here, the mere sight of a particular guitar can send one of us into a tailspin of nostalgia and reminiscence. Such was the case with this Spectrum 5 and as soon as I saw it, my mind wandered back to that classic and fantastic cartoon from my youth, Speed Racer. I can only assume that all of the gadgets and switches on this guitar made me somehow think of those buttons on the steering wheel of Speed's car, the Mach 5 (or it could be that Spectrum 5 made me think of the Mach 5- who knows?). In any event, as I was recalling the cartoon that took up a good portion of the memory banks of my late-60's childhood, it struck me that there was actually a sinister sub-plot inserted behind the main story and although my young mind didn't recognize it then, my grownup mind clearly sees it now. Were it to be spun off into a series of its own, it would most certainly be called "Chim Chim's Revenge"...

Please let me explain how I think Chim Chim was a secret agent government monkey plant bent on destroying Speed and his family. First of all, no family needs a damn monkey. They just don't. Go get a dog or a cat or even a turtle if you want a pet, but when it comes to bringing home a monkey, just say no. Well, I guess that didn't apply to the Racer family because not only did they bring 'ol Chim Chim up in the house, they dressed him just like their youngest son, Spritle. Genius, just genius and so if you ever wondered why Pops was always blowing his top, the culprit could be none other than, you guessed it- Chim Chim. That monkey swapped Pop's blood pressure medicine with a bag of Pop Rocks and poor old Pop's heart was always running like a chased rabbit. I'm surprised that he didn't fall over, graveyard dead on one of the episodes right before my eyes.

The only smart one of the bunch was the oldest son, Rex. As soon as he walked in for dinner one evening and saw that monkey sitting in his seat, he spun right around, grabbed his clothes and got the hell out of the house. He later got a really cool costume and became Racer-X, Speed's secret savior. Rex died tragically after running his car into a laundromat in an effort to run over Chim Chim, who was eating an ice cream cone in front of the store. Then a water tower fell onto the laundromat and Rex got squashed.

When it came to Chim Chim's monkey hate, no one was spared. The ever-loyal, Mach 5 mechanic, Sparky was a victim early on and I don't believe he ever recovered. See, Sparky had a secret that wasn't directly revealed on the show: He had a "thing" for Speed's sister, Trixie and it would prove to be his downfall. So what happened was, Sparky was working on the Mach 5 one day when Trixie, wearing that tank top and them tight, Capri britches came sashaying into the garage. Poor old Sparky was turning wrenches and working hard until Trixie threw her best hoochie-mama, trick on the track technique on him. Man, Sparky came out from under that hood and next thing you know, he was making moves on Speed's little sister. That would have been all well and good- we all like a story about young love, but that bastard Chim Chim was up in the rafters with a video camera, taping it all. Next thing you know, the camera had mysteriously made its way on to Pop's desk and after seeing that Sparky was trying to get up with his only daughter, Pop's (who was still eating Pop Rocks, thinking they were blood pressure pills) lost his mind and ran over Sparky with the family tow truck. Killed 'ol Sparky graveyard dead and that hook Trixie got grounded for a year. Serves her right- you know she had motives but because of Chim Chim, Sparky was gone and Pops just about had a heart attack.

For some reason I can't explain, Chim Chim didn't mess with Spritle too much. Seems the boy was slow, so he couldn't really tell if that monkey had eaten half his hamburger or spit in his chocolate milk. Surprisingly, stupidity saved Spritle from the tortures of the baby ape with the exception of the odd black eye or chewed ear every now and then. Besides that, he was named Spritle, for Pete's sake. That must have been punishment enough.

Now we get to Speed. Chim Chim hated him the most because he got to drive the coolest car ever created. The monkey wanted the Mach 5 more than anything else in the world (he was there, after all, to steal its secrets for the Kamboola government.) When he asked his handlers for a car of his own, they told him no and sent him a small shipment of bananas. That made the monkey madder than a wet hen and right there, he decided to kill two birds with one stone. He would kill Speed and destroy the Mach 5 at the same time...

Late one night, while the Racer family was asleep, Chim Chim snuck into the garage to set his plan into action. He crawled up under the dash of the Mach 5 and did a little "monkey rewiring" with the steering wheel controls. It only took a few minutes to complete his dastardly task and he was back off to bed. The next day, Speed wrapped that neckerchief around his neck and hopped into his car, never even realizing that it was his last day behind the wheel. Fast forward a couple of hours; Speed was at the racetrack, practicing for an upcoming race when it began to rain. Hard. He reached down to activate the tire traction treads when all of a sudden, the robot homing pigeon flew out of the car and began flying around in circles. The car, traveling at high speed began to slide and spin and was soon headed for the wall. Speed knew that it would be the end for him if he hit the wall, so he pushed the button to activate the four jumper thrust legs, but instead of being propelled to safety, the two circular saw arms extended and the Mach 5 hit the wall in turn 4 at 185 mph. The end result of that was, the whirring blades were forced back into the car and Speed Racer was cut into two big, bloody pieces. Right in half and it was so quick, the helmet didn't come off the top half. I imagine that millions of other kids like myself were never the same after seeing this and I blame all my adult faults and shortcomings on this singular scene.

The story ends badly for all except the real villain- that dirty old Chim Chim. His work done, he was recalled back to Kamboola and would later go on to become one of the country's biggest movie stars. Acting in such classics as "Chimp or Chump", "Don't Let the Chimp Taste Fool Ya", "Government Monkey Business", "The Ape That Ate Tokyo", and "Life of a Chimp Pimp", he received a banana on the Bollywood Walk of Fame and retired to his country estate tree. Still wearing Spritle's clothes...

This Spectrum 5 is in excellent, original condition and has been checked, restrung with new strings, intonated, and set up. Everything works. The finish on the back of the guitar is slightly discolored as if it had a reaction to something foreign. The color is vibrant and the original case is also in excellent condition, so if you're just not willing to settle for a reissue and you actually made it through that story, then this guitar shall be your reward.

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