I was talking to somebody backstage before, and they were telling me there's a lot of you people that like to drink vodka and orange juice.
If you don't have any idea where that came from, please, and I mean please go now and listen to a Donna Summers album or something. What I speak of is maybe the best rap in all bands existences, period. I'm quite sure that, in a loft on 10 East 23rd Street in New York City in 1973, Gene and Paul were discussing the finer intricacies of the band and it went something like this:
Gene: "Stanley, now listen up. You just got to front this thing, you know?"
Paul: "Let me tell you somethin' Gene. I know it's gettin' hot up in here. Let's makes this place hotter than hell."
Gene: "Dude, seriously. Ace makes animal noises and has trouble walkin' and Peter sniffs banana peels. We need to talk about who's gonna be the ringleader here."
Paul: "Now, CA-MOUN. I KNOW you can do better'n at."
Gene: "Paul, focus baby. We can hit pay dirt if you just think it through."
Paul: "I KNOW. I know everybody's hot. Everybody's got- rock 'n roll pneumonia. So let's call out, Dr. Love!"
Gene: "For God's sake, Paul. WTF are you talking about?"
Paul: "That baby had the longest f#&ing tongue I've eva seen! "I was wearing my Levis. You know, the real tight ones!"
Gene: "OK, OK Paul, I get it. Maybe we've been in this loft way too long and I'm up for some strange. Let's go get a drink and get frisky in the ladies room."
Paul: "I want y'all to catch your breath, 'cause here it comes. I SAID ROCK AND ROLL!!!!
That's exactly how it happened and you know Ray had a cousin that seen it all go down on 33rd and 3rd. We don't even need to discuss this guitar; I mean really people. We both know that this is a '96 Classic Iceman and not just any Iceman but a Paul f'kin Stanley Iceman. You know this guitar is clean right? Straight? Of course it is and you must know your testosterone level will increase 40% just by owning it. A 40% increase means more fun for your love gun from the missus and more fun for your love gun equals more visits from the ladies in waiting.
Meanwhile, back at the bar...
Gene: "Hey Paul, check out that dish over there."
Paul: "Let me get this off my chest. Gene do you like to lick girls?"
Gene: "Uh, well, yeah. Sure."
Paul: "Now CA-MOUN!"
Gene: "Well... HELL YEAH!"
Paul: "YOU LICK ME, I LICK YOU!"
Gene: "Man, please dude. I don't do all of that lickin' boy's stuff. I said girls."
Paul: "Aww yeah. Lick it up..."
See people, you really do gotta live life like you're on vacation...